


Returns

by Yatterqueen



Series: #wedgiewednesday [27]
Category: Unlisted
Genre: Gen, no tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6509494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A bit of meta commentary again (about things I've seen & been guilty of myself, especially with my earlier writings), but also, I returned to Masque, who has beef with Carmilla (three separate stories have involved her beefing with Carmilla & Kate). If she can get Monica in (spoiler alert: she will because Titania is a damn good persuasive tactic), let's see if this new group of 4 can make good on Masque's threat. If you remember my recent commission <a href="http://fav.me/d9vvhi1">Commission: Drone Strike</a> they only lost because Christina Bell screwed them at the last second. Masque is not the same as a wacky Joker woman. That being said, I don't think Scorpion and the She-Hulks (ft. Hawkeye) will fall for the same trick twice.</p><p>The question is... who'll win? Ladies and gentlemen, let the battle begin.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Returns

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of meta commentary again (about things I've seen & been guilty of myself, especially with my earlier writings), but also, I returned to Masque, who has beef with Carmilla (three separate stories have involved her beefing with Carmilla & Kate). If she can get Monica in (spoiler alert: she will because Titania is a damn good persuasive tactic), let's see if this new group of 4 can make good on Masque's threat. If you remember my recent commission [Commission: Drone Strike](http://fav.me/d9vvhi1) they only lost because Christina Bell screwed them at the last second. Masque is not the same as a wacky Joker woman. That being said, I don't think Scorpion and the She-Hulks (ft. Hawkeye) will fall for the same trick twice.
> 
> The question is... who'll win? Ladies and gentlemen, let the battle begin.

 Another long day at the office for Jennifer Walters, the She-Hulk. You'd think because of the number of clients she employs, she'd actually have money, but... not really. She had to let Patsy go recently, though Angie and Hei Hei are still hanging around.

She decides to dick around for a while, going through old cases when she's shot a text by Madcap of all people. One, she has to figure out how he got her number and two, she has to beat him up. In the meantime, she looks at what he sent her.

A fanfiction involving her. Not unique (she's well aware she's in one right now) but still, intriguing. Why did Madcap...

 _Oh_. She understands why.

If it wasn't the rose gold iPhone, Jen would've crushed it in her hand.

"Since when I do I act like that? And why --"

She rants to herself for a few more moments (in extremely strong language not protected by the Comics Code Authority) before calling Betty to rant a bit less vulgar.

"Betty," she starts, before the woman even has a chance to say hello. "Have I _ever_ come across as submissive to you? Like, ever?"

"Jen, it's 7:30, I'm sleeping."

"Betty -- wait. It's _7:30,_ Ross. What are you doing asleep?"

"I have night terrors. Need to sleep early to get a full night's rest."

Jen mouths okay before continuing. "Sorry to disturb you then, but answer my question."

"No. What's this about?"

"Unflattering portrayals of me in fan media."

"Huh?" Betty sounds confused. "You read that stuff? I stopped when I became convinced the only 'Red She-Hulk' people were interested in was a red, sex-obsessed, evil dominatrix version of you."

Jen sighs. "I _don't_ read it. I got a message from Madcap --"

"-- the guy dressed like a fool?"

"That's the one. Anyway, the story he sent me, I turn into some kind of sniveling little girl at the first sign of danger. I'm not usually one to let these things bother me, but it's been so long since I've seen it, I guess my guard wasn't up."

"You sound used to being wish fulfillment." Betty responds from the other side of the phone. "Tell me that's not what it is."

Jen debates what she's going to say to that. Technically, as a superheroine, she's escapist fantasy, especially one for female empowerment. The latter one she especially likes; even in the "fake" Marvel land, sexism is still the order of the day, and she's still making progress as best she can about it. Not only she is _used to_ being wish fulfillment, she _is_ wish fulfillment. But there's differing values in what kind of wish you're trying to fulfill.

"People are going to do what they're going to do with my image, Betts," Jen finally answers. "If I got up in arms about it every single time, I'd be up in arms all day. It's not a problem, really, it's just sometimes I get bothered. Not because it's of me, necessarily, but because of the attitudes represented in those images."

"Explain," Betty says. She has an idea, but she wants to make sure she's on the same page with her friend.

"Well, okay, take stories where I turn into a sniveling loser for example, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"It depends on how it's treated by the writer or artist, but typically, it's endemic of that creator's perception of women and women like me. You can't write anything you don't come up with -- turning me into a loser for pleasure is a conscious decision.

"So, the question then becomes where does that decision come from? What kind of beliefs are they writing from?"

Betty makes a sound of acknowledgement. "Nine times out of ten, the answer isn't good, is it?"

"Nah. Now, I'm not faulting people for what they get off to. Do it, even if you need to use me," that feels weird to say, but it works, she's aware, meta-textually. "It's just kind of... strange to see somebody get off to my complete and utter humiliation, after I've been given a supremely degrading motive and, well, whining and crying the whole time. Or, even worse, I've been arrogant and haughty until I'm 'revealed' to be a loser. Either way, it tends to be broadcast to hundreds of millions of people in the stories. Maybe they just don't like me, but these people also use minors, _kids_ , Betty, in their stuff."

"Going back to that 'what kind of beliefs' thing."

"At least, sometimes women in these kind of stories are allowed some kind of redemption. While we can go back and forth on the _worth_ of those 'reputation redemption' arcs, I tend to think they matter."

"They show there's _some_ compassion behind that screen there. Even if it's just sort of a fetish thing, they're willing to treat the women as people with real feelings."  

"Exactly. Anyway, it's _not_ real, so it's not the end of the world, but I still find it a little f'ed up."

Betty gasps on the other side of the phone, trying to bring some levity to this conversation. " _Jennifer Walters_."

"You should've heard me ten minutes ago. I had to be _censored._ "

" _Wow,_ " Betty laughs. "I'm surprised at you, Jen. But, if it's not real, why do you let it bother you? I mean, I moved on just fine."

"I tend to get by just fine myself. Like I said, it's not the end of the world. But that doesn't mean that there's nothing wrong with those elements. Look, I'll call you back. It seems I've got a few new clients."

She hangs up as she hears Titania's loud voice and a quiet one telling her this is a bad idea outside of her office.

"Greenie, get out here and fight me!"

"Titania, we're going to _lose_."

"Shut it, Cleo. If you didn't wanna' come you didn't have to."

Jen sighs once more and gets up from her desk, going to the window. First, she points to Asp. "If you want to go, I won't stop you."

Titania lifts Cleo by the dress collar before she can leave. "Nuh-uh. We're a team now."

"Because that worked out so well the last time," Jen says, rolling her eyes.

"Teams take time to develop!" Titania retorts.

"I don't want to be apart of this team!" Cleo interjects.

Jen cracks her knuckles and hops out the window. "Look, ladies, I'm in a bit of a bad mood right now, so I'm going to work it off on you. Sorry, Asp, you lost your opportunity."

The Egyptian woman sighs dreadfully and glares daggers at Titania, who ignores her and sets her down.

"You think you can take us both?"

Jen points to Asp. "I think _she's_ not going to try as hard so I take it easy on her."

Asp shrugs. It's sort of true. "If I hang myself up, will you leave me alone?"

"Let me think about it..." Usually when people say that, they mean they're not thinking about it, and Jen isn't thinking about it. "Nope!"

Titania is tired of the talking and charges Jen, her right cross dodged under and Jen grips around her waist, hoisting her up high for a suplex.

Asp winces but recognizes that the only way she's getting out of this intact is if Titania's coherent enough for them to make an escape. Getting dropped on her head a bunch of times is not conducive to that plan.

She stalks her opportunity and shoots Jen in the knee with one of her venom blasts, making the heroine buckle and drop Titania. Titania follows it up by kneeing Jen in the face, sending her off the ground, and then clubbing her back to Earth face-first.

Titania quickly pounces, grappling Jen and wrestling her up for a suplex of her own and then making sure she's down on the ground, sitting on her back prime position for a wedgie.

"You know, if you beg, I might take it easy on you," Titania taunts. Asp readies her venom blasts in case Jen makes a move.

Jen struggles but Titania's got firm footing. Still, there's no way she'll beg. That's not her MO, that's _never_ been her MO, and it _never_ will be. Especially not regarding some harmless prank.

"Ah, well, get ready for the big stage, Gree--hey!"

Before Titania can get her hands underneath Jen's skirt, the green heroine bucks her off with such force that she goes flying. Before she can hit anything, Jen reaches up and grabs her foot, bringing her back down to use as a shield against Asp's venom blast.

Asp tries to ready another one but Jen hits her with Titania's massive body, knocking her down and nearly out.

She holds both ladies by their collars, somewhat thankful Titania's ditched the leotard. It's a good look but hers was a little _too_ small.

"It's settled, huh? My win?"

"We didn't even give you a wedgie this time," Asp points out. "Why don't we call it even?"

Jen pretends to think about it. "Nah," she decides, dropping the women by their collars and holding them in air by their underwear instead.

Titania yelps, though Asp maintains some dignity, instead just kicking about.  

"Don't worry, though, I won't leave you ladies for the police. I'll just give you some girl time."

<<>>

Cleo has half a mind to kick Titania but it's not a smart move to swing her leg that far.

"You're an idiot, MacPherran," she settles for. "A storage closet is not how I expected to spend my evening."

Titania crosses her arms, though she says nothing. Jen gave her such a brutal wedgie her voice became high-pitched before she was left hanging a few feet off the ground. The effect is undoubtedly gone, but Mary doesn't want to be teased over it again.

On her side of the closet, Cleo is farther off the ground (Jen was insistent they remain eye level) but her yellow athletic underwear is less stretchy than Titania's pink heart print panties (especially after the super wedgie Jen gave Mary), so she figures her wedgie is worse, at this point. Jen even went the extra mile and used her patented "Time Out Wedgies" stuffing their arms in their legholes to keep them upright. She _was_ a bit crueler to Titania, pulling the front of the underwear up to chest level before leaving them there.

"If we're going to be a team, we can't fall into fights over these childish pranks any longer."

Unfortunately for the two women, there's a brief earthquake that sends them jolting around even after it stops, increasing their wedgies. Even worse, a pile of old clothes fall on Titania.

"Who do these belong to?!" she demands, Asp shushing her.

"We don't want anyone coming in here and finding us like this, do we? Shut up!"

"Don't tell me to shut up! You shut up!"

The closet door opens and both women avert their gaze from whoever it is that opens it.

"Well, well, well. It seems that even the She-Hulk is in on this game," the unknown individual says. From what they can hear, Cleo and Titania deduce its a woman. "Don't worry, ladies, I'm not here to taunt you. In fact, I'm here to help you."

The woman starts with Cleo, since she's the lightest.  

"You're..." Cleo starts, surprised to see _this_ person here. She also fixes her underwear, the surprise not being enough to make her forget to pick out her wedgie.

"Huh? Who is it?" Mary asks, turning her head quickly.

" _Madame Masque._ "

Masque smiles (though neither could tell) and gestures to Titania. "I have a proposition for you two and Monica Rappaccini to get revenge. First, however, let's get Titania down."


End file.
